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Empty
I wonder how my Kevin boy is.
If he’s thinking of me.
If he has found another person.
In that case, I should be thinking of him much less.
And I should really move on.
But for now, I like to think of my ex as being as sad as me — breaking into tears and snot on a bike path with a cherry tree against bright blue sky.
Certain moments bring it. Certain spots. Sometimes it’s when I realize I’m far enough away from everyone, and nature touches me. I burst open like a dam. The sadness that is always there comes pouring out.
I cry, because he’s not there.
I cry, because of how sad and scared I am. How lonely.
I cry, because I miss him. I wish I could share my life, this moment, with him.
But I don’t completely wish for all of that.
Because I also know, there is a reason I left him. Wishing and missing him is not the whole truth.
I have a vacancy in my heart that yearns to be filled. I yearn to be known by someone…
