Believe them the first time.’ — Maya Angelou

photo from Unsplash by Devon Divine

Thank you, Maya Angelou! I keep thinking of this as I drive around Bend, Oregon, in this beautiful fall weather, thinking about my life.

When it comes to Michael Venice, I have decided to believe him the first time.

The first time we texted each other on the Bumble App…

And I Can’t Stop Crying

Would this make you cry? (photo by me)

This means I’m feeling my feelings.

And that’s a good thing, right?

Today a gush of tears came upon opening a box of AeroPress Micro-Filters. Kevin bought two replacement boxes for me ten months ago, when we were still together. Each box has 350 filters. …

Image from

The silent wall.

I stare at it.

Willing it to speak.

Willing it to grow a hand and reach through to me.

To touch me.

It won’t.

I fell in love with the wall months ago.

We’ve had some back and forths. Lovely ones. Start and stop ones.

For a split second, the wall opened up and sent me a really sweet text three days ago.

He said…

Against my Better Judgement

Image by Anastasia Shuravea on

He is attractive. Tall. His smile pulls you in (though usually it’s not there). Hair is reddish-blonde. He looks great in a baseball cap. His face is a bit wrinkled — more than you’d expect for forty-seven years — but not much. Are the wrinkles from the sun?

Or maybe…

Death was something I was taught to covet, even as a little girl.

It was the other side of things. It was the eternal comfort — the eternal Home. We longed for it. Like crazy.

Those of us in the meeting.

The meeting room in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where my mom grew up with her eight siblings

The meeting’s roots go back to England in the…

She’s so flexible!

“Alexa,” set a reminder not to drink tomorrow night at 7 pm.”

“Okay, I’ll remind you tomorrow night at 7 pm. By the way, when your reminder rings, you can snooze it by saying, “Remind me again in 15 minutes.”

“Oooooo, well there’s an interesting thought! I had not thought of that one.”

She’s not a stickler when it comes to working…

And Didn’t, Do.

photo from UnSplash by Joanna Nix-Walkup

Here is a real story

of a real Bumble Date

of a real man

Who’s real first name was Michael

and who’s fake last name was Venice.

Michael Venice was in my phone, in my life,

for sixty-eight days:

Michael Venice put his hands down my pants on day one.

He did not touch my pussy. His fingers grazed two centimeters beyond it.

He pushed me up against his car and made out…

Dr. Anita

Fly adult. Coming at you like a bowl of cereal on a Sunday morning in front of the TV. Never had a TV. But I do now.

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